Obession of obtaining a great figure.

Okay,i am a sasheyer and i am a total fanatic of girls with beautiful figures that are exceptionally flawless. I've been going round looking at magazines for these flawless shapes and i hate to admit it, the desire for a beautiful hourglass figure is conquering my entire world.

Right now, i am only a teenage girl who has a thousand and one dreams of being a model. But do i actually have what it takes to be one? Achieving big dreams and walking on the runway is my big goal. To top it all of, i have the urge for really good grades. In short, what i really wanted was the brains, body and beauty.

This was practically the three B's i found to be must-have in a perfect girl. Am i going way overboard? The question that i always ponder over. What i knew then was if i wanted something, i had to slog my guts out!

I am really uncertain of the fact if i could shed the extra kilos on my body the next coming months. I wanted a beautiful figure before July as my cousin, Jackie, is having her wedding at a high class restaurant-Swiss Hotel. Thinking that it would be a spectacular night, i decided that i had to have this beautiful figure by that particular night.

Every night, sleeping on my bouncy, oh-so-full of cotton bed, i had thoughts of slimming down and always never failed to dream about me being in a hot bikini suit, walking down the glittery sand of Sentosa Beach.

I would most of the time hallucinate that i had a rather flat tummy and being able to dive in the pools of Shangrilla Hotel and not have tonnes of fat hanging down due to the gravitational force of the Earth.Therefore i had to put my plan into actions. It starts by no, today, this very second???

Everything was basically difficult on the first day of my exercise plan. Abstaining myself from sweet beverages was already a hard step to make let alone doing the exercises. Putting my plan into action really wasn't as easy as i thought that it would be. To accomplish the task, it could really drain my energy out for the whole day.

I sat down in my room where the feeling of coldness surged through my body making me reminisce my younger days, where i had no worries of extra fat tissues jiggling their way around my body in all four directions.'' Eh, it was definitely a disgusting sight man.!!!

Second day of my plan was rather a fruitful one for me. I was slowly getting used to the ''staying away from snacks'' phrase. Everything seems just a little bit better from the first day. But on the hand, it was not very smooth either.

On the Fourth day through my exercise, i was day dreaming on other stuff and therefore resulting in a slip, where i found a lot of red fluid profusing out of a three quarter cut across my forehead.

The blood flowed like a river streaming down my burning cheeks. Together with the blood came my sweat and suddenly i had the urge to taste it and well i hate to admit it, the sweat tasted salty just like what my mother had told me.

I decided to get a cold shower and get the dirty blood washed off my face. As the water touched my bruised body, i shivered and thought of what my sister said many times before,'' why am i tormenting myself and going thought the things that i detest the most?''

On the fifth day, i knew that things were gonna be stretched to the limits. I gave up on every extra food and sweet drinks to obtain a flawless new me. '' Was i going the correct way?'', is the question hung half way in my blank mind while doing a dance routine.

A sprained ankle and a bruised knee was what i managed to obtain on the seventh day of my exercise. Without having second thoughts, a pain like sharp razor blade pierced through the nerves of my eyes and tears started welling up in my eyes.....continuation of story would be on the next post that i will be doing.

Continuation of the last part:

That very night, i had a hard time sleeping. I was tossing around and turning in my bed. ''Is this journey to slimming down that difficult? If is it,then why am i not quitting and if it isn't, then why am i inflicting unnecessary pain on myself?'' - The bruises, the cut, the internal pain,i was so confused.

Without hesitating, i stuck to my plan, which very well brought me along the hard way. Days was slowly passing me by,followed by the weeks and finally the school had re-open.'' Was i really ready for the taking of weight?''

On the first day at school, i was extremely terrified when it reached Physical education. My heart pumped as fast as a bullet travelling in the air. The blood that was flowing through my veins suddenly turned icy cold.

Apparently, i had a pale face as white as a sheet of paper, when my friends surrounded by my side to to calm me down. By having these group talks,my heart was brought back to the normal pace.

''Next up, Jeremiah Cherylann Florence'.''announced my teacher. After hearing that, i could feel my heart in my stomach and almost lost grip. I slowly made my way to the weighing machine.'' Oh yeah, and teacher, my name is pronounced like Jeremiah Cherylann Florence.''

'' Okay pls step on the weighing machine.''
''Oh God, oh my dear God, my doom's day has finally arrived. What am i to do? '' But the only thing i could do was to lift up my legs and get onto that monstrous creature. I took a deep breath and the next minute, i saw many digital numbers appearing on the machine. The numbers had stopped jumping and i caught i glimpse of my weight. -it was a feather like 57.2!!! I couldn't believe my eyes but that was exactly what i witnessed. I had dropped a total of 4.5 kg.

My mood was on cloud nine for the entire day and everything just fell into place.''Why was i thinking so much in the first place??'' From that moment, i knew that as long as i had the determination, everything was possible. I finally understood the phrase impossible is nothing or rather, nothing is impossible. Actually, both the phrases mean about the same thing, but i juz love writing it down and treating as my motto to get to whatever aims i had in mind.

Just a word of advice, nothing comes easy and wanting to obtain such marvelous results really requires alot of hard work,sweat and 'blood'. There is a saying, '' no pain no gain,'' and '' you reap what you sow''. Go on ppl, achieve your goals, i'll be supporting you!!! Don't ever give up...

So, who do i have to listen to???

Okay, so like many things can happen in a day, and people may say alot of hurting stuff. But the real fact is that, do we really have to listen to what they have to say? On first thoughts maybe, yes,but after thinking it through, i think it is best not to care about what they have to say. Basically, in our class,there are many different groups and sadly, my grilfriends and i belong to the islated gang of girls. I can't find any reson why we are being treated indifferently towards our classmates, but we juz feel that we are being treated unfairly. But the great thing is that we are together as one and not facing this shit all alone.

In the realistic world, when somebody does the wrong thing or makes a wrong step, that particular person would be booed and so on. But guess what, in our world, only the 7 of us get booed when we err. So today, we were supposed to bring somekind of stupid English worksheet or something, where my galfrends had owed teacher some other stuff like a reflection whatsoever,there you have it, they decided not to do the reflection and so they were to get out of class. Being in my position, i was like''what the HELL, are we supposed to be bringing something or what?" I checked with my other friends and they all said that we had to bring the hk paper which i totally could not find at all.

It was a total mess, and when i saw my friends going out, i was really hesitant not sure of what i should do. Before that, two other girls got scloding from mdm A for leaving their seats and going out of the classroom. At that instance, i too juz stood up and walked out of class as i couldn'd be bothered to explain to the teacher about my situation.--Where it so coincidently happens that i can't find the paper....so as i was making my way out from the class, mdm A shouted my name,'' Eh, eh Cherylann, where are you going? I did not askyou to go out what?'

So i naturally was like,'' What, but i thought you said that those who did not bring the paper should go out on their own, and i am doing that now.''

Then mdm A was like,'' Cannot be, you surely have the paper, i gave this out long time ago. Don't bluff!!!''

(These was at the part where the whloe class started to burst into laughter as though they had never seen a student talk back to a teacher before.)

I quickly went'' i really don't have it with me, swear!!!'' And that bladdy GERALD was the one to laugh his head of the loudest, and really, at that point in time, i juz felt like slapping his irritating face until it rotates 360 degrees round his stupid neck!!!

And then coming to the part when mdm A allowed us to come, i heard really clearly that Radio Lydia shouted from the back of the class,''Wa lah, why they come in again?" On hearing that, i juz turn to look at her and said,''why we cannot comein ah? This is not even you class!!!''(afterwhich, i juz sat down.)

My blood was in fact already boling and wanted so much to shut her upside down....But i couldn'd i did not have the chane to do that but i did have the chance to blink at her straight from my staring eyes to her bladdy eyes....

She is such a big fat liar, i really could not believe she would say that, i mean isn't she the one who always went out to study with marilyn and xiurong?? Yet now she is doing this? A luck thing is that i never once went out to study with her, or else now, i would be regretting every move i made back then.

Really Hate Lydia To Death!!!

Able to make things happen....i doubt it!!!

Hey, hey, i did not blog yesterday as i wanted to see the bad and good things accumulate. Sadly enough, i was sick and could not attend school yesterday. My friends had an A'maths test. It doesn't matter if they did well for the test, as long as those who failed the A'maths exam, there would be an amount of 5 marks added to their previous maks.... Xiurong actually got 70 for A'maths, she thought that if the xtra 5 marks could be added, then she would be able to have A'1s...it's actually quite hurting though, i mean a little bit more than it would make the grade of an A1...Who doesn't want that man??? For her physics, i think she must be hurting even more as she was only down by 1 mark to reaching A1. I thought that she would be sad and not talk throughout the day, but after everything, she was still kinda normal.....so everthing was cool in the end. For today, nothing much happened to me...oh ya, it was like a ''THANK GOD'' time when getting back the physics paper as i seriously thought that i would have failed terribly.... Well nobody can predict the future, i guess!!! Today was khair's birthday, yeah, yeah, the class wanted to sing him a birthday song but he insisted that he didn't want it to be sung. His face was like painted with red paint and the shy look on his face was the first time i saw it appearing...his jade black eye balls were drifting from side to side. As if he didn't know what to do....Then at the end of class, everybody-(mostly the boys) quickly stood beside khair, and one of the guys, by the name Gerald, gave him that dirty look like he wanted to taste khair slowly, pieces of flash...being torn apart with sharp teeth!!! No la, jk, I meant they were all waiting to bash Khair up as a gift--it's usually what they do amongst the guys when their bithday arrives,....so the whole situation was obliviovs to the girls.(Wel, i wish Khair good luck man, i hope that he would be able to come back alive tmr...) No worries, i don't think that the guys are that ferocious animals.....Adding onto to what happened in class today, i really have no idea who the hell was sitting at Gerald's table,but that someone had actually dugged his/her nose and put the ''waste'' on the wall. It was extremely disgusting and all thanks to Jia Liang''s big mouth in talking back to Mr Ong, he was chosen to clean the ''waste'' of the blue wall. At first he did not want to do it, but after much negotiation with the teacher in charge, he had no choice but to acceed to Mr Ong's REQUEST.... It was really hilarious in seeing him get tortured by Mr Ong.....slowly as the days pass. I mean, i am not that bad hearted or what, but you should have seen the situation, really, you'll definitely laugh your head off man. Teacher's day is this coming Friday and i really want to buy a gift for Mr Ong as i feel that he is a good teacher. I am not only planning to get a gift for him, but also for miss Kok and Mdm Azlina.....come on, they are the best teachers that have taught us patiently....and there's a pus factor that i really admire them. For miss kok, she's really good at maths, it's juz like she is born a genious or something. As for Mr Ong, his chemistry is like whoa....whatever questions asked, he would be able to solve it....Then it comes to Mdm Azlina, she humorous and really a fun person....she teachers really good English and makes lessons interesting.....so ya kudos to these teachers!!!!

What A Day Today Is!!! Shit is the only words to describe the day......

The Day that i missed the time slots...

It is just so hard to remember to do things that i want to do today. I am such a Sotong, making blunders after blunders....What am i going to do about it??? Well i have to start somewhere though right? So today my father and i missed mass where the priest gave summons and gospels to help Catholics gain back their confidence in God. Apart from that, i also missed the study time that i set aside to study for my maths test tmr. Two important things, and i can forget about it.....juz what is wrong with me??? I think i need to be more proactive the next time around.

Living on Earth is actually quite torturous, i must admit.....imagine the work load, the illness and so many other things that can happen to a person and juz bring that person's mood down. Like it did to me a few times before and somehow i juz couldn't take it, so i juz broke out in tears. When it occurs, there is a kind of sour feeling gathering in the heart, and since the heart can't bleed out those blood, it comes out from another entrance where it is known as the eyes...tears, salty as they may taste.....and hurtful as they might be, ppl still often does that action to help themselves release stress that cannot be spoken...

So coming to the problems, where on EARTH are my anties??? Not one of them has called my house since the big day, why has this happen??? grandpa surely would be very angry to know that his kids are fighting amongst each other. Even my Grandmother, she too has been ''gone'' lately...not a single call frm her? Why, doesn't she care for us anymore? Does she not love and dote on us anymore? Treating my mother with that attitude of hers, is making me detest her even more....I hate eveything that is happening to my family members...these had never happen before, we were one big happy family in the pass and suddenly, no more gatherings at the church, no more house visitings...no more card games...Nothing, nothing, nothing!!!! The fights had happened between the older generations and not the younger ones, but why have everything changed, everything has gone with the wind. Like it will never come back, the feelings are totally gone, every single tear has dried up....resulting in an EMOTIONLESS stone........which is ME!!!

At the point when i am feeling empty, i thought i could turn to my dearest cousin, Bryan Cheng. But guess what, even he is not here anymore. He is secondary 1 this yr and unfortunately, he joined the wrong group of friends. I tried my best to send him sms as my mother told me i had to try and persuade him to come out from that grp, but everytime, i send him the second sms, there will always be no reply whatsoever. Mayb he doesn't like me telling him about his friens and so on, but i was juz stating the cruel facts.....he thinks that they are rather cool ppl and loves hanging out with them after school. Last time, we would always call each other and talk to each other, but ever since he attended sec 1, he has changed alot and there's nothing much i can do to stop him.....I've totally given up hope on everyone except my closest family members---daddy---mummy---sister(Nicoleann)----

Stay cool and juz relax....

So there's alot of things happening recently, and for some of them, i have been able to cope with it quite well, i must say.Today is the very renowned Saturday, and it is supposed to be fun, i guess? Oh ya, juz to remind myself that i have tonnes of homework to finish by today, so at least tmr, i can get a good break and study for the upcoming maths test which i don't really want to go and sit for. But still, there's nothing i can do about it can i ??? sO I WOULD JUZ LEAVE IT ALL UP TO FATE!!!

Okay, so yesterday my day was not so smooth and adding on to the fact that 1 of my guy friend who asked me a ridiculous question on why i don't really mix with Lydia and the rest of the girls sitting at the back of my class? Isn't it so obvious to him? I mean, Lydia is fun and all, but now, i really think that she is changing for the worst, i am only not in such a good position to tell her as she is hanging out with a so called gang leader who actually made a teacher cry last yr........Whatver, i am so not scared of that leader, but i juz do not want to get involved. So i think it is none of my business to tell her which friends of hers is doing good to her. It's juz the most best method to shut my mouth and turn a blind eye to the things that she does.

Alright then on the the other factor why i won't mix with the other girls from the back of my class, that is juz so outta of question man, we had a fight back then and from what i think, the girls from the back are somewhat like those Ahlians you see sitting at the void deck and so. To see them like that, my heart really hurts . They think that by hanging out everyday after school is something to be extremely proud of,having boyfriends is the first thing that is revolving around their world right now........i mean c'mon, now is supposed to be the study time and so not the fooling around time man.

They should really juz open up their eyes and see what is good for them and what is not!!! They are juz blindingly following the ppl that they know they are ot suppossed to follow. So my question is why are they still doing it??? Don't they know that by doing so , it really would do alot of hurt to their parents. Breaking their parent's heart and so on...seeing them cry is a sin, really....so why can''t they juz stop?! I am really confused man!!! but somehow, we have to stop somewhere, but i only wish that they would open up real soon to see the realistic world......and not bring so much pain to thier parents!!!

Relaxing Day Up Ahead!!! *-*

Today was a much relaxing day. There were no Maths at all and definitely no Chinese. I got my Chemistry Paper 4 and guess what, i actually passed with over 2o marks.... But i missed out about 4 marks and it was quite hurting. Overall, everything was a okay. I guess it was not such a good day for Christal as she kinda fell sick again. She has a terrible stomach cramp. My heart goes out to her though, i mean alot of ppl are falling ill these days and it so happens that Christal is one of the weaker ones in the crowd. I wish her a speedy recovery! Alright so back to the days activities, during class, after knowing my Geogarphy test marks, i was quite moody and i guess my friends could see that sense of sadness in my eyes. I juz feel like a total jerk for giving my frinds that "Cool Attitude"...i feel that it is not so fair to them and i realise my mistakes, so next time i would not repeat this sucky attitude of mine again. The point where i knew my mistakes was actually when we were standing outside the office and i was juz gazing out of the square shaped hole,moodily, Marilyn started to lie on my bag and Yayoi lied on my shoulders. Xiurong went to go and find Mr Ong.Anyways, when they made those little actions, it somehow juz melted my heart, and nearly made me cry......but luckily i held back my tears but kinda choked on it. So ya i am gonna mend my ways...

The subsequent day that i collected the killer papers....

Well today is still da day where i collect the killer scripts again. Seriously, i thought that i was gonna get my emotions crushed again for the second time. But i guess my worries were for nothing, but still, i have to worry for the Chemistry paper 4 and the Physics paper as well. These are my main worries for now. So ya, i juz hope that i can pass right, becoz i have already done badly for my A'maths....and do not wish to hurt my parents in such a way, although they have said nothing so far!!! I'll have to keep my fingers crossed though.......So today nothing much happen. Juz saw some sad faces as they were not that happy with their results. But i am glad that Claire has cheered up from yesterday. But i guess today was Hwee Li's turn to have her bad time? But it only ended for a while. Oh yeah, not forgetting,i did a psychological test today and found out that i am an officially a Flirty, perverted girl......i think i would juz stop here for today.....

Some picz i thought was cool!!!

The view that you are kooking at now is when i personally asked him to pose for me to take, so not true,JUST KIDDING.....!!! But don't you think that he is extremly hot???

The day that i am doomed......

Today is officially the worst day of my life! I got back the ''killer'' papers. In other words they were the exam papers.....upon knowing my marks, i felt as though a knife was stepped though my heart. I felt tremendously guilty about my marks for A'maths. Why did i make those careless mistakes in my work? And guess what, my parents didn't even scold me...now it has added to my guiltiness(if there is such a word). I talked to my mum about the mistakes that i made and at first,she was quite angry but after that she talked to me about where i went wrong. I finally realised where my mistakes are, but isn't it a little late now? No, i shoudn't think like that. I still have about 13 days to the N'levels and after which i have a break of 20 days before my real actual A'maths paper..... I should start working hard now and if anything happens to me, i will not feel so guilty about it....That of course, i mustn't make anymore careless mistakes!!! Apart from that, i also got my Chinese paper back and come to think of it, i am not that upset about the results. I also got the Social Studies paper and before Mr Yang could give it back to us he was like,'' i am really disappointed as i could not see any effort put in by you, for the N'levels, it would be difficult paper, you better make sure that you are prepared for it.''

He said that he had done his best in teaching us the things that he knew, but what my frendz and i think is that HIS TEACHING METHOD extremely SUCKS!!!

Fancy Meeting PPL

Fansy meeting the ppl from the same class as you.... i don't deny the fact that i really don't like meeting ppl from my class outside of school hours as my dreesing code for the reality world is quite different. In school, i am the good kid with manageable hair and whatsoever. But once i am out, i dress differently. Like the other time when i wore a short black skirt, one of my frends was like "wow sia, her skirt damn short...""..And i was like double close inverted commas. I mean doesn't it seem a little weird to meet these ppl outside of school dressed in your other kind of outfit? Well at least that's what i think man. And today when i went down to Loyang, i saw my classmates but the lucky thing was that they had not seen me....if not i really don't know where to put my face...I kinda have the phobia of meeting =ppl outside of school was all because there was this one time when i went to buy drinks and saw one of my frend. The most embarassing thing was that i wa actually wearing a striking orange flip flops with a pair of short pants. It was really weird and all, i could only feel my cheeks burning up.... so ya basically that's what happen. See, i do have a sympathetic story behind my ''not so daring actions'' afterall..... The End---- The most touching story i have ever written in my life!!!

THE STORY 'TWILIGHT'

There is a story called Twilight and many sequels leads to it. For example New moon, eclipse and the breaking dawn.The story is not that bad. It is talking about the love between two teenagers. ONe of which is a Vampire named Edward Cullen. The lead actress goes by the name of Isabelle Swan.There many touching scenes and some with great actions in it. It is a novel no teen would mant to miss....As you read the story, its climax really would be able to touch the heart os readers, and adding on, the show would be released this coming November. Some of the scenes as taken from the show is here....

As the days passed....last day of exams.

Well today is the last day of my examinations. The next would be on the 27th of august. So for now i think i'd better get a good break before continuing the exam journey. During the last few days, i was doing my best in studying all the notes and that is why i did not really have the time to come and blog.The Chemistry paper 3 was kinda difficult as all the multiple ghoice answers were almost the same to me. Fortunately, when i clarified some of the answers with my fredz, they said that it was correct. But still let's juz keep our fingers crossed. Tmr would be the day when we gat back our marks. I am worried for my English though, it was extrmely difficult.....for Chinese, i am so not sure if i can pass.

But the only thing that i know is that i am sitting under the direct blow of fan and it is chilling me out. As i am typing these words, my heart is still set on the previous exams that i sat for....I am juz totally wiped out like i could juz fall onto the comfort of my bed and go into dream land for the next 4-5 hours of my day.

He is really the cute guy of the town man. Het ppl you can check out the show '' tang xing feng bao 2'' if you have missed the first episode. U will really come to love it man.

This is real, This is me.....

Well today was kinda okay for me. Except for the fact that i did not study today at all......Damn wasted was the only words i had in mind. I am extremely nervous about the Chemistry exam and naturally for the A'maths exam, it scares me out. I really hated teacher for saying out loud to me that i had done badly for the first paper. Like how could that have happen? The other after the a'maths exam, i checked the answers with my friends and somehow i kinda gotten the answers similar to them.

Now for these few days, i can only sit and stare, wondering about how i did for the exam.... and it totally hurts me. What am i going to do? I really don't wanna fail, i mean i have practicing but maybe it was to no avail. Who knows man?

Today i attended mass with Dad. The gospel was really useful, i think that iam going to start having faith in myself and not to think too much. I am also going to try and do my very best in a'maths. Whatever the outcome may be, i would just have to accept it right? That shows that it is my fate....but the truth to be told, i don't wanna give up! Like what am i thinking right, i am not good at a certain thing but yet i still wanna carry on doing it. But the next time i attempt the maths, maybe i should treat it like my friend, try to look at it from a different angle and be confident in the workings that i do.

There goes my Sunday tmr......it's gonna be a long time before i can blog again.Gotta go and study Chemistry,maths and of course A'maths.

Anyway, my sister had fight with a stupid girl name Sella. I think that Sella is a very bossy girl and really looks like an AH LIAN. Everything was totally lame to start with, but now as the fights are getting bigger, it seems there are much more fun coming up. But in any case, Sella is a liar, i hate her for saying nasty things to my sister....