Emotionally connected

Many days have passed by and i somehow feel better from the mess of feelings i had last few days. It has gotten me thinking abt many things during my time in bed. Although i'm lying on a piece of soft material, those thoughts still failed to vanish. I was so afraid and stressed up only to realise that i had to have a heart-to-heart conversation with my dearest sister tht really helped a lot. She made me realise that things were gonna be fine in the end. In any aspect, my family members will always be there to support me. I shouldn't think too much and allow it to harbour unnecessary thoughts. Like what my parents always say, "what's yours will always be yours". I think for now, imma go with the flow. Stop thinking of things that can barely happen. Yes i admit that it was my mistake for not thinking of my future when i was younger. But now, i reckon there's nothing i can do but just wait. I have no idea where i'll be going( coz i haven't even gotten the results), and this really kills me inside. Every night is just nightmarish for me. I can hardly close my eyes and fall into deep sleep right away. Thinking of my sister going to sch in the morning and me? Just staying at home( doing some cleaning if not go out), just really isn't helping a single bit. How i miss sch too.(i cannot believe i'm saying this, but yeah)....

How time flies....-_- Well, at least i decided on something and imma stay faithful to this decision. What can i say huh? I decided that i wanna stay single till....(i decide on the age for myself). Just chilling out with friends will be the most appropriate decision so far. However HE has somehow stolen part of my heart and i don't know how it happened. It's so scary to know that u have maybe fallen for someone and the only thing u wanna do right now is try and keep it to yourself/under wraps. (i don't know what u call it, but imma call it tht for now). However, it always pretty much messes up! Things just start to linger towards his direction once again and that is just bad. It's stupid to be thinking of someone when they barely even know u. So, imma stop right here and right now...(unless due to other circumstances, there might be a friendly progression, that i don't know....). But it's truly a stupid thing to be doing! At least i half recuperated from the "sight" of him. If he needs to show up again this year, i think i'll just have to put on a front and act like nothing's happened...I think i can do it somehow. Wish me luck!